5 Questions you need to ban from your language to make your life happier

Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose yours well

- Robin Sharma


The questions you ask yourself hold a great deal of power because they will either lead you towards empowering answers or disempowering ones. The answers to those questions will either trigger in you positive emotions or negative ones. One “bad” question can trigger in you a negative spiral wheras a better oriented question will lead you towards an answer that will uplift your mood for the rest of the day.

Keep reading because I selected 5 questions, that if you are really serious about becoming a better version of yourself, you need to totally ban from your language in order to live a happier life. So here we go


1. Why me?

There are different variations of that question, like “Why is this happening to me?”. I am sure that maybe you have your own version of that or you used to have one. The reason why this question is the number 1 on my list, is because when you say those words, you immediately assume that you are a victim. In my opinion, one of the main causes of suffering is refusing to take responsibility. So that question amplifies your powerlessness and therefore, you will keep manifesting reasons around you to feel even more powerless.

Instead of asking yourself that question, ask yourself the question “Why not me?” . If others are capable to thrive under the same challenges that you go through or even worse, then you are capable too.

2. Why does it keep happening to me?

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a pattern that you can’t possibly figure out a way to stop? Then maybe you are asking yourself regularly a variation of this question. What it does is that it keeps your focus on the reasons why a series of events are repetitive in your life and it will bring to your awareness even more reasons why they must happen. Therefore, it makes it really difficult for you to break those patterns and change.

We get so thrilled sometimes by wanting to figure out why things we don’t like keep manifesting in our lives, while sometimes the best way to keep something from happening ever again is just to totally deprive it of your conscious attention.

3. What is wrong? - What am I doing wrong?

This one might be a bit misleading because only when you know that something is not working right, then you can work on changing it. The problem really occurs when asking those questions become compulsive. What it does is that it will constantly keep your focus on the negative and on what you think are your flaws. Therefore it will only bring to your awareness even more reasons why things aren’t working properly and even more reasons why you are not doing things right.

Sometimes the only thing that you are doing wrong is asking yourself those questions too much.


4. Who is to blame? - Whose fault is it?

Most times when you ask those questions, it is because you feel the need to punish the person who did the wrong thing, by either guilting them, with anger or any other physical action that you might take. And when you cannot find someone other than yourself to blame then you blame yourself.

Though I believe that taking responsibility for one’s actions is one of the most noble gestures that you will ever make, blaming others or yourself will only result in disempowerment.

5. What should I be afraid of?

When you ask yourself compulsively this question, you will always live in fear. It will keep you from taking action because of the things you fear will go wrong and ultimately, it will make you manifest around you reasons to be even more afraid.

Instead of asking yourself that question, holding and cultivating the belief that you will be able to handle whatever comes your way can be very liberating.

There are certainly more questions that we would be better off not having in our vocabulary, but those five are in my opinions those that will move the needle the most in the way you feel about yourself and about life in general. Don’t expect them to leave your language totally in one shot. It will have to be daily practice. Keep in mind that awareness brings change. And now that you are aware of the harmful potential that asking yourself those questions consistently holds, make it a high priority to correct that behavior.

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- Xavier