Raise your self love ethics.
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” - Byron Katie.
We live in a cultural status quo that praises work ethics, and to some degree, it resonates with me. Many achievements will require of us to put a minimum of consistent action to see them manifest.
However, this culture of always wanting to do more, has a pitfall. The pitfall is when we prioritize doing compared to alignment. This made me come up with the concept of Self Love Ethics.
What is “self love ethics”
It took me quite a bit of time to come up with a definition that translates very well what feels like self love ethics, because often times we tend to have a distorted idea of what feeling good means.
So to me, self love ethics means the dedication and the diligence to do whatever is in our power, to vibrate in alignment with our soul. Having a high self love ethics would therefore mean a high commitment to do everything it takes to feel elevated emotions. The opposite would mean being complacent and very comfortable with feeling negative emotions.
Why is this important for you
We live in a culture that glorifies standing in the middle of hardship or doing the hard thing. I can understand the chivalrous mindset behind this. I also understand very well the value of developing resilience.
However this can become a trap when we build some complacency with hardship. We become so good at struggling that we don’t even reach for more.
The impact of this mindset is that it makes everything harder than it needs to be. The universe is very compliant to how we choose to feel and will always bring to us “emotional matches”.
So the more you are dedicated to loving yourself, the more you are yearning to match your soul in vibration, the more the universe will bring to you circumstances that support that intention, and you can very well go from struggling most of the time to thriving most of the time.
How do you cultivate your self love ethics?
Like everything else, it starts with a decision. It starts with the decision to change your self valuation system.
How do you value yourself? By how much you achieve? By how much you are appreciated by others? Or do you value yourself by how much you are in alignment with your soul?
I suggest you start prioritizing your alignment. This is a decision that you are invited to make.
Once that decision is made, the next step is to increase your emotional awareness and to pay more attention to how you feel in absolutely every situation. This is your internal self love GPS. It will tell you every single time if you are in tune or out of tune.
Once you have your focus on your emotional state, the next step is to climb the emotional ladder. And there are many things out there that will help you do it. Let's list some of them: meditation, singing, working out, having a bath, a massage, walking outside, journaling, petting your dog, etc. Whatever works for you is welcome here. My invitation for your is to start scanning all the activities that make you feel more elevated and to do more of that in your days.
It is your job now to find out what works best for you and to apply it consistently when needed.
However, let me warn you. The more you will set out to climb the emotional ladder, the less you will tolerate negative energies. You will start being more aware of the sources of negativity around you and especially the people who love drama. Sometimes they will be the closest people to you. You might feel the impulse to try to change them when this happens. But I suggest you don't. At that time, you will be invited to tap into one of the most powerful emotions, which is compassion. Give them that instead.
Remember, this is a work in progress. Sometimes growth is two steps forward and one step back. Be at peace with it and have fun with it.
I would love to hear your perspective in the comments section and if this resonated with you, how about sharing it?
Sending you so much love.
- Xavier.
PS: In case you haven’t grabbed it yet, click the button below to get my free clarity workbook. It will help you not only get mental clarity about where you are and where you would like to go, but it will help you develop clear emotional clarity about the vibe you would like your future to have. And if you are very serious about transforming your life, letting go of your old story and turning your trauma into a manifestation power, click here to apply for my Thrive coaching program.