Ep. 5 | Dené Logan: The love you crave is on the other side of the shadow work you're avoiding
In this powerful episode of ENHEARTENED, Xavier Dagba is joined by Dené Logan, therapist, sacred disruptor, and author of Sovereign Love, to explore the deep connection between shadow work, self-abandonment, and the inability to feel fulfilled in love.
This is more than a relationship conversation. It’s a transmission for anyone ready to stop outsourcing their healing and start creating love that liberates, not limits.
You’ll hear us unpack:
The ownership template that ruins intimacy
Why attachment isn't love—and how to spot the difference
The cost of confusing comfort for connection
How your triggers point to your unmet self
Why your inner child may be running your relationships
How to build a relationship where both souls get to expand
Whether you're single, partnered, or healing from heartbreak, this episode offers a roadmap to relational sovereignty.
FIND OUT ABOUT DENÉ’S WORK
Book: Sovereign love: Link:https://denelogan.com/book
IG: @dene.logan
TikTok: @denelogan
🎧 LISTEN TO ENHEARTENED ON:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363
✨ Join My World (Xavier Dagba):
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More Offerings & Events: https://www.xavierdagba.com
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CHAPTERS
00:00 – Intro: Why this conversation could change how you see love
01:00 – “You belong with me” vs. “You belong to me”: breaking ownership templates
03:05 – Why we save our worst selves for the people we love most
05:40 – The hidden entitlement that breaks emotional safety
08:15 – How relationship dynamics can stunt our soul’s evolution
11:10 – When your partner becomes a place to hide from your growth
13:20 – Attachment ≠ love: the real cost of codependency
16:05 – How unmet childhood needs recreate adult pain loops
18:45 – “Your soul is safe with me”—Dené’s definition of love
21:10 – Learning to love someone by letting them go
23:35 – What to do when you’re addicted to being needed
26:00 – From resentment to reparenting: the healing begins with you
29:45 – Two inner children in conflict: the hidden cause of most fights
33:00 – How your need for safety might be silencing your soul
36:20 – Understanding attachment styles as energetics, not identity
40:10 – Masculine and feminine distortions in anxious/avoidant dynamics
44:25 – What healing actually looks like in the middle of a relational storm
47:30 – Why triggers are sacred invitations (not signs to run)
50:45 – The path from hyper-independence to healthy interdependence
53:10 – Dené’s story: when her marriage could no longer hold her soul
56:25 – How to know when a relationship can stretch with you—or must change form
59:45 – Inspiration, respect, shared vision: the new pillars of soulful relationship
1:03:20 – From roommate energy to sacred polarity: reanimating your connection
1:06:00 – Breaking the fantasy: love that lasts isn’t love without conflict
1:08:15 – How sovereign love heals generational wounds
1:11:00 – Dismantling gender roles and embracing conscious partnership
1:14:40 – The courage to keep your heart open when it would be easier to close
1:17:15 – The #1 thing that blocks people from experiencing real love
1:20:10 – Final reflection: Your relationship is the perfect assignment for your soul
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